Tetzaveh

Shabbat Shalom and Chag Purim! This week's portion is about... priests?

nope not that guy.

I'm talking about Jewish priests (aka those guys who were in charge of the Tabernacle) 

Aaron and his sons were chosen to be the priests. The torah turns into a fashion manual by giving detailed instructions to the priests to weave gold into their clothing and *GASP* wear wool and linen together etc. This whole wool and linen thing comes from an obscure law saying that we can't wear the two fabrics together... but no one knows why. So if these priests were so fashionable, does that mean they were in charge of the Fabernacle? Or maybe the Swaggernacle? Hmm I'll have to consult Rabbi and get back to you on that...

Now that the Tabernacle was set up, it needed something to make it special. It already had the material beauty of gold, silver and bronze but the spiritual element was missing. The Israelites are commanded to bring pure olive oil and light a Ner Tamid. We still have one on our sanctuary (yes it uses a lightbulb but the times have obviously changed)

The lesson I'm taking from all of this is that beautiful things are holy things. Sure, gold and silver are pretty but when you give them a spiritual meaning they become holy. I'm not telling you to worship gold (we'll talk about that next week), I'm telling you to make yourself feel beautiful. This weekend, treat your body like a temple and adorn yourself with what ever makes you feel good. Sparkles, your favorite outfit, a perfume you save for special occasions, whatever! And make sure you share your holy beauty with others :)

Mishpatim

Shabbat Shalom and Happy Valentine's Day! I am currently in sunny Atlanta, Georgia for NFTY Convention 2015! It's going to be a weekend filled with amazing speakers, new friends and exploring Atlanta :)

This week's portion is about laws. I'm no Jewish law expert and I'm also not home so here is a video from Godcast explaining everything. My favorite part is the description of God's sapphire pedestal, I had no idea that was a thing! I also find it interesting that Moses wrote down the laws that God gave him on a scroll, as if he was writing a big post-it note so he wouldn't forget! I need post-its for just about everything so thinking of God's laws as one big, holy post-it is pretty cool. Holy post-it note, Batman! Over this long weekend, write yourself a note reminding yourself of something important and put it where you can see it every day. That's one small thing you can do to make your life a little brighter until Spring.

Yitro

Shabbat Shalom! This week's portion is all about a dude named Yitro (Jethro), Moses' father-in-law (No, not Jethro Tull aka that band with the flute).

Fun fact, Yitro is actually not a Jew! Say what now? Yeah Moses married a Midianite named Tzipporah, a perfect example of an interfaith marriage right there. So anyways, Moses is the leader of the Israelites at this point but he's a bit frazzled by the job he has to undertake. Moses is the lone judge of the people basically. He has to decide who gets possession of what, who is responsible if there is an accident and how crops are divided. Moses is seriously stressed and his father-in-law wants him to spend more time with the family. What's a guy to do? Here's where Yitro comes in.

Instead of complaining to Moses about their lack of family bonding, Yitro comes of with a plan to help. He tells Moses that a system of judges can be set up to alleviate the stress of his job and give him the balance he needs in his life. This is the perfect solution! You go, Yitro :)

Next, the Israelites go to Mount Sinai where they are prepared for 3 days and then get the Ten Commandments directly from God. The Israelites say that "All that God has spoken we will do."

The Israelites are scared of God's power so they ask Moses to to be their messenger to God.

^^^wait hold up Maia, you just wrote a whole thing on some random goy that you've never even heard of and practically skipped over the 10 Commandments? What the heck! 

I know, self, it's crazy right? Here's the deal: 1. This entire portion is named after one guy, so he must be pretty important. 2. These are not the real 10 commandments. The final tablets come into play in a few weeks so stay tuned!

Since Yitro is so important, the lesson we get from him is this: look for a solution first instead of complaining to someone that they are not doing enough. Instead of whining about what you hate, go and fix it! Trust me, you'll feel good that you helped you friend and your friend will appreciate the help!

B'shalach

Shabbat Shalom and Happy Superbowl! This week's portion is where we finally get to the part of our story where the Israelites escape. Yay! After Pharaoh's firstborn son dies, he changes his mind and lets our people go *ugh FINALLY*. They packed up their matzah and went on their way to cross the Red Sea. We all know the story, they cross and everyone is happy and the Egyptian soldiers chasing them drown yada yada yada. 

BUT there's a little midrash that makes this story a little interesting. Moses didn't really know what to do when he got to the Red Sea but this guy Nachshon jumped right in. I think that's a commentary on how we should treat life: jump right in to the stormy waves (nachshol) of life and trust that it can all work out. In the words of Nike, just do it!

Another story we get is from the desert itself. I've spent some time in the Negev specifically and I gotta be honest, it's pretty magical. Yes, it's hot, dangerous and sandy but going there causes you to bond with the people around you. Sending the Israelites to the desert was God's way of trying to make a scattered people into a community. The only problem was that the former slaves would rather go back to slavery than find their homeland in the desert. Oy, what a conundrum! To quiet the complaints, God gives the Israelites manna (magical bread stuff from the magical desert). That doesn't last for long since the Israelites start to get thirsty. And this is where good ol' Moses starts to show his true colors. Moses is really fed up with all this complaining and the fact that Nachshon led his people to freedom. When God tells him that if he talks to a rock it will give him water, Moses finally loses it. He smashes the rock with his staff instead but he still gets the water. God is pretty mad though and says that Moses can't come into Israel when they finally get there :(

Here are the main lessons for this week:

Like I said above^ just do it!

Don't complain so much, the road to hell is paved with good intentions (and magic bread)

Control your anger or God just might condemn you

Bo

(Probably the coolest name for a torah portion ever, just saying)
A belated Shabbat Shalom! I apologize for the lateness of this post! I was a bit distracted by HSTY's Comedy Night in Chelsea on Saturday :)

Here's the basics of Bo:

God dishes out the last 3 plagues:

8. Locusts

9. Darkness

10. Death of the Firstborn Children

And Pharaoh finally changes his mind! Unfortunately, it took the murder of his eldest for him to decide but hey God works in mysterious ways I guess. We all have our own plagues (from this snow of biblical proportions to midterm exams) but don't let them get to you. Everyone has their own metaphorical Red Sea that parts, freeing them from their troubles. Have a good rest of your week!

Va'eira

Shabbat Shalom! So the story of Moses continues. Moses tries to tell the Israelites that God is going to free them... but no one believes him since after all those years of slavery they feel that God has forgotten about them. Moses and Aaron go to Pharaoh to say those famous words, "Let my people go!"

Pharaoh is skeptical obviously since he's never heard of this 'Jewish God' so Aaron challenges Pharaoh's magicians to a throw down... a throw down of staffs that is. Aaron throws his staff on the ground and it turns into a snake... but the magicians can do the same thing! 

Pharaoh still isn't convinced so Aaron says that God is going to bring plagues to Egypt and man does God bring it! When each plague came, Pharaoh would promise to let the Israelites go but after the plague ended he would change his mind back. The first 7 are in this portion:

1. Water to blood

2. Frogs

3. Lice

4. Flies

5. Diseased Livestock

6. Boils

7. Flaming Hail

So there you have it, the first 7 plagues! So not only do we get fantastic gifs out of this portion but we get to see God's awesome powers. I once saw a show on TV explaining that there is a scientific explanation of the plagues since it happened in Cameroon in the 80's. Whatever you believe, the plagues are still pretty crazy feats of nature. However, on Passover we don't celebrate the fact that these plagues harmed and killed many people. Going into this week, remember that we should never wish ill on our enemies. Just because extreme acts of terror have been committed by Muslims in Paris doesn't mean we should want all Muslims to be harmed! We need to realize that revenge isn't as sweet as Passover wine.

Shemot

Shabbat Shalom! This week we start the book of Exodus. The story of Moses is an oldie but a goodie. In fact, my oldest memory of our buddy Moses is of me watching Prince of Egypt on VHS in my cousins' basement (#90sKid).

Moses is another classically complicated dude as told in Shemot. Pharaoh felt threatened by the thought of a Jew taking the throne and becoming his successor so he commanded that all Jewish babies be drowned in the Nile. Yikes! Moses' mother, Jochebed, found a loophole and put her baby in a basket so he (hopefully) wouldn't die. Cute lil' Moses floated past the crocodiles and hippos until Pharaoh's daughter found him. She is actually the one who named him Moses (which comes from the root for son in Egyptian). Moses grew up thinking that he was an Egyptian prince, but there was a moment when he stood up for his own people. Moses saw an overseer mistreating a Jew and he lost it. Moses saved the Jew, but also killed the overseer. Moses was so ashamed that he fled to a place called Midian and became a shepherd. He marries a Midianite woman named Zipporah and I guess his life seems pretty normal for a while. One day, Moses was with his sheep on Mount Sinai (aka Mount Horeb) and sees a burning bush (as shown in the video above). The only problem is that the bush isn't actually burning. It's on fire ... but it's not being "consumed"... what? Yes, ladies and gentlemen, once again God has done something totally cool! God reveals his true name to Moses and then she tells Moses that he is the one who has to free the Jewish people.

"Wait a minute, God. You want me to free ALL of them? How?"
"I need you to speak with Pharaoh. He seems like a scary dude, but he used to be like a father to you so you know how he really is."
"Can't you talk to him? You are God after all. And I have a hard time speaking in front of people."
"I know you have a hard time speaking to people, I made you that way. Even though I think you're full capable, ask your brother Aaron for help."

Points to God for being totally awesome and making Moses different and then helping him overcome his challenge. God gave us all challenges: big or small, physical or mental, whatever. The reassurance we get from this portion is that God made us each different and that we can overcome whatever challenge is in our way, just like Moses.